Female Monologues

JULY

This is my story
I was cursed with ignorance
no really - cursed
at my christening
like in the fairy story

this is what happened -

the uninvited bad fairy whooshed in
in a long black skirt and gave
me a christening gift, a curse
written on a Hallmark card – why?
because no one invited her
not surprising
she was my father's
first wife
my Dad's vengeful ex
and that's how I
ended up cursed
with ignorance
which explained why I couldn't pass exams
my darling dad said
it was all her jealousy
and Mum as usual smiled sweetly
Except...No one could tell me
what I was supposed to be
ignorant of!!

I don't want you to think
love was a big problem!
condoms safe-sex
that was the problem
because I found everyone I met
charming in different ways
and you had to go to bed
with them to find out

(JULY crosses to THEO to flirt with him)
have we been introduced?
Sorry, I don't remember, no.
what's your name?
Where are you from?
Is that north or south?
No, I don't know -
I'm not the brightest kid
on a bar-stool - but I like people -
which they say will take me a long way -
away from my home town I hope!
Oh it's picturesque, you're right
that must be why
tourists come to take pictures
but knowing everybody and everybody
knowing me – sort of too cosy!
Brothers and cousins watching
every move I make isn't what
I'd call being free

JULY
Big cities – I tried them
so many opportunities -
to work in an office
five days a week
and still not be able
to afford the rent
on a basement

there's gotta be more than
tech support, web design – not for me
unless I'm in the middle -
the spider spinning

And my boyfriends about this time
kept telling me
there was only one way out
by having a baby – help!

Go away! Stop talking real estate
money and property
if that's what you mean by family
You may be ready for babies
I'm not

I swear they'd have the babies
themselves if they could
stay home and look after them
fine by me but have them
with some other girl, please
You're a really great lover
I mean, of course, the best ever!
but babies aren't part of my plan right now
the plan I'm designing
I'll tell you 'when'
for some reason my saying this
upset him



JULY
Give me that map!
Even if I can't read it!

Hey you, how about taking me
if you're going to New Dehli?
Okay, then the Earth Spirit Camp
sipping chai tea and spirit enhancing medicines
ummmm, more please

I got fond of traveling
got into the tie-dye business
batik, silk-scarf dresses
kerchief bikinis stuff
that I have to buy in colourful countries

high on having nothing
no worries
except for the planet
and you can worry about the planet
just as easily in warm countries
save on energy living in a tent
I don't like the cold – I don't
like cold countries – sorry!


JULY
What was his name? That whiner?
Terrible! I no longer remembered their names!

JULY(crosses to THEO)
Can't men just be friends?


Why can't they accept
you can't always remember their names in the morning -
because you have a bad memory
because you've been cursed
from birth – or something
my boyfriends never believed that story

or that it was true -
don't worry
I'm not going to tell
you about all the men
in my life - there isn't time –
I was a traveling saleswoman
India, Asia, Polynesia yet
I never had an affair with a married man
until I had an affair with a married man

He was a soldier
we talked to each other
on a plane for fourteen hours
longer than I'd talked to anyone
and I began to do something
I'd never done before – except with my little Shitsu
I began to worry about him
Tried to imagine what must be
going through his mind



JULY
He was someone else's sweetheart
fighting someone else's war
I left him
got out of there

home's not always
heaven in a cup
but a war zone's no place
to find angels or lonely princesses

my friends were getting married
or having babies – sometimes both
I had a year of hen-party weekends
then another year of boring baby showers
I could see what was coming next
the little darlings' birthdays
I don't mean to sound bitter
but there has to be a high street witch

for example, I'd get a call from old friends
you know they call you up
wanting to see you – you make them a salad
cut up cucumbers for them
light the candles
but by eight o'clock
they're telling you
about some wonder man
or some exotic woman

I began to feel like I was missing
out on something
was that the curse? No one to love
but I wasn't really looking
I was happy enough
devoted myself
to good works
went to work in a soup kitchen - no, not to meet men
to help them
which is where I met him.

Not a god but
the next best thing – trying to be a saint
running around town
relied upon, showing up
all hours of the night
a one-man rescue band
and beautiful
handsome
JULY (crosses to THEO)
we got to know each other that winter
over hot soup
getting as close
as two vegans can get -
I almost understood
everything he said


The Love of my Life
said we could move in together
Bliss!
He found a part of town
On some lay line
He approved of
I had no idea
what he was talking about
but there were...
Two perfect rooms.
I said, this means the universe
Is saying yes to us
He tilted his head
Ever so slightly - like
The universe always said yes.
to him living on faith
Usually less
In his pockets than
The homeless
and me to do the housework
and liking it




JULY
I began to see
I'm sure you all know about being in love
but for me I saw Spring for the first time
saw the leaves struggle to unfurl -
walked under fluffy white apple blossom!
feeling blessed -

I'd never met a truly good person before
and we had that one summer



Come September
there was a crisis in Africa

(SHE crosses to THEO)
but I was planning a party

he couldn't get his head around
an ordinary life-style
I forgot that instead of going to college
he'd gone to Bosnia
with the Red Cross

Surely you don't have to...
we all want to help
me too
no training it's true -
add to the problem, yes

it sounds like you're a soldier
soldier of peace but...

I don't really understand
why you want to be on the front line
it seems cruel
when I'm trying to be happy
suddenly
kids don't seem such a bad idea
I've changed my mind

beloved – what about me
simply needing you?



He said he was sorry
he'd made a mistake
great! the love of my life
and I'm his mistake.

I'd kissed a Prince
and turned into a frog -
who knows
maybe I'm insulting frogs
ribitting on
with this lump in my throat

he...didn't...want...me!

I was at my
lowest
when I bumped
into my Dad’s X
Have you forgotten
the bad fairy
at my christening?
Hey, I said, how are you?
‘I’ve found someone,’
she said.
Goody for you! But I’ve lost my love!!
‘I’ve been there’ she said
and hopped on a bus
Wait, I jumped on the bus
what am I ignorant of?
If it's feeling it hasn't worked
and why hate me
you were my dad's
first love!
I'm sorry, she said
looking me in the eyes
and I felt the curse lift
love hurts
it does and yet
it's still the only place to live

JULY (to audience)
to make him feel better
I helped him pack

Some people
walk through fire
while we watch
trying to make
them ordinary
normal although we
accept their
sacrifice

pack his own sheets!
he said he could tackle
any regime
as long as he could sleep
in his own sheets

he told me Mother Theresa
helped the poor in the streets
four hours a day
but had to pray
eight hours a day
to do it

I ran over the hills
to find my roots
or another religion - anything
plane train bus, GO!
I know the Buddhists say
there's movement in stillness
but there's more in moving
to...the kind of town
where you could say – and still be respected -
love didn't work out for me



JULY sings
Somewhere over the clouds
In Brighton village England
Stepping off the Broadwalk
Is where you’ll find…

No angels or devils
Just ordinary
Gods & Goddesses, Gods & Goddesses…

THEO joins in

Somewhere close to the sea
In a hearty barter town
Between Pavilion and Pier
You can always see

No angels or devils
Just regular
Gods & Goddesses















JULY
He came to visit once
meet my new friends
in my new home
smiled when I told him
I'd studied seagulls
and they weren't
free as the air
they had responsibilities

at the train station
when we said goodbye
there were tears in
both our eyes
which left me
feeling at last
I'd arrived



The end






















The play traces the fortunes of the Karimi family, refugees from Iran, who left during the Iran/Iraq war. GOLI is a girl of seventeen, who wants to use her gap year, to join the Festival Circuit in pursuit of a purer more earthy life-style. She wears long gypsy skirts and extended hair, she has a rebellious attitude and may never go to college. It is a serio-comic set up as she’s talking to her parents who are behind her door waiting for her to come out.

GOLI
I will come out but not to eat. It’s not so much that I don’t like the food you cook, Mama, but I can’t take all that rice. I want to eat white bread sandwiches with ketchup. I honestly think if you started to eat more like the rest of Boston, it would change you. You’d stop thinking so much about the Middle-East because you wouldn’t be constantly reminded of it by the smell and taste of gormay sabsi! There’d be a metabolic change, a lighter feeling, airy freedom and I think you’d both put aside that terrible prejudice you seem to have against letting me do what I want. You know there’s an unwritten law giving me a perfect right to drive a car and hook up with some really mature people who know how to put up a yurt and make a living from the Festival Circuit. If it’s being a nomadic gypsy as you say, it’s being a self-sufficient, self-employed one And don’t go quoting the Koran to me either , because you never even had a copy in the house until I decided to become an Earth-Spirit.
If we were all happy in tents, there wouldn’t be a war in the Middle-East.
I know it’s sad for you to see me go. It’s sad for me too. But it’s my destiny. And that’s Islamic. I need green fields and fresh air and great renewable energy sources from ordinary things like compost. Sorry you can’t come with me, but it’s only a temporary separation. By the end of the summer I’ll be home again and I won’t be changed that much. Not at all likely! I’ll still be your only daughter, won’t I?

(GOLI slowly opens door to her parents).